President Trump says all travel from Europe to the United States will be suspended

#BREAKING: President Donald Trump says all travel from Europe to the United States will be suspended for the next 30 days amid the coronavirus outbreak https://t.co/otv8ns4Lk0

— KVUE News (@KVUE) March 12, 2020

The German government calls on the Maduro regime to respect the democratic rights of the National Assembly of #Venezuela. You can find the complete statement of the #EU here: https://t.co/umWYJFbDWv

— GermanForeignOffice (@GermanyDiplo) January 6, 2020

pic.twitter.com/V3uTOkcgUr

— Sal the Agorist (@SallyMayweather) July 22, 2018

.@POTUS sits in Winston Churchill’s chair as a guest of Prime Minister May at Chequers. pic.twitter.com/Wv2nrLMnQP

— Sarah Sanders (@PressSec) July 13, 2018

Sarah Silverman calls for a military coup to overthrow President Trump

Comedian Sarah Silverman appeared to call for a military coup in a tweet last night, as protests against far-right Breitbart editor Milo Yiannopoulos turned violent.

'WAKE UP & JOIN THE RESISTANCE. ONCE THE MILITARY IS W US FASCISTS GET OVERTHROWN. MAD KING & HIS HANDLERS GO BYE BYE,' Silverman wrote.

Later she added: 'We're all gonna die sounds so dire but we are though (all gonna die).'

Trump supporters and conservatives were quick to tear Silverman's tweet to shreds, calling for her to be arrested for treason and even using anti-Semitic rhetoric against the Jewish stand-up comedian .... http://www.dailymail.co.uk

Man in Wolf Mask Loses Fortune Betting Against Apple Earnings

Shares of $AAPL Rise on Better Than Expected iPhone Sales. And then there’s this guy, livestream shorting $AAPL with his entire net worth wearing a wolf mask .... http://ibankcoin.com

Winter is Trumping

Johnny Depp stars in fake Donald Trump biopic

The satirical website Funny or Die began streaming the faux documentary the morning after Trump's resounding victory Tuesday night placed him firmly back atop the Republican field of White House contenders.

Kept secret during production, "Funny or Die Presents Donald Trump's The Art of the Deal: The Movie" is presented as a long-lost celluloid treasure written and directed decades ago by the real estate magnate himself.

The 1980s-styled parody stars an almost unrecognizable Depp in heavy makeup including trademark comb-over, set to music by the era's soundtrack star Kenny Loggins whose credits include "Top Gun" and "Footloose." .... http://news.yahoo.com

Poroshenko posts pic of himself photoshopped in Putin’s place, then Russians see it… (MEME WAR)

Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko unleashed a meme war with Russian internet users when he posted a fake cover of The Economist magazine, showing himself in place of Vladimir Putin standing among world leaders.

The spoof used as its basis The Economist’s annual supplement, The World in 2016, but the year was replaced with 2017, and Poroshenko was sandwiched between Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi and UK Prime Minister David Cameron. Poroshenko tweeted the mock-up – later revealed to be a gift from his administration.

“Some presents I don’t take as a compliment, but as personal responsibility,” Poroshenko wrote in the caption.

Whether it was the self-importance of the text, the offense at the thought of Poroshenko replacing Putin as a world leader, the ridiculousness of a grown man inserting himself into magazine covers, or a suspicion that the Ukrainian leader actually thought said cover was real, the image provoked a Photoshop storm across the Russian border .... https://www.rt.com

Thursday Humor: Lawyer For Martin Shkreli Hike Fees 5,000%

A criminal lawyer representing Turing Pharmaceuticals chief Martin Shkreli has informed his client that he is raising his hourly legal fees by 5,000%, the lawyer has confirmed.

Minutes after Shkreli’s arrest on charges of securities fraud, the attorney, Harland Dorrinson, announced that he was hiking his fees from twelve hundred dollars an hour to sixty thousand dollars.

Shkreli, who reportedly received the news about the price hike while he was being fingerprinted, cried foul and accused his attorney of “outrageous and inhumane price gouging.”

“This is the behavior of a sociopath,” Shkreli was heard screaming .... http://www.zerohedge.com

Driver pulled real-life Road Runner trying to drive through tunnel that wasn't there

A driver got the fright of his life when he tried to drive through a tunnel - only to find out it was PAINTED onto a wall.

The bizarre incident was something straight out of a Road Runner cartoon.

The wall even featured an image of the cheeky fast-moving bird made famous by Looney Tunes peering at the tunnel.

It was no laughing matter for the driver though, as it left his car in quite a state .

The image, shared on Reddit by user Miss Reb entitled " So this happened.. ", shows the before and after scene, and the driver of the red Fiat managed to take a smash to the front of his car .... http://www.mirror.co.uk

DARTH TRUMP - Auralnauts

Made with 100% all natural Trump sound bites.

Cop shows up drunk for his Mothers Against Drunk Driving award

A Florida deputy who was being honored by Mothers Against Drunk Driving was too drunk to pick up his award at a banquet last summer, according to a new Pinellas County Sheriff's Office investigation.

WFLA reported Thursday that the 274-page internal affairs investigation found that
Michael Szeliga packed a bottle of Jameson Irish whiskey in his patrol car before driving to the Hyatt Regency Pier 66 Hotel in Fort Lauderdale, where he and two fellow officers were to attend two days of DUI law enforcement training.

MADD was to give Szeliga an award for making more than 100 DUI arrests, but when he arrived for Friday night banquet, he was in no shape to mount the podium in front of 200 invited guests. A witness described him as staggeringly drunk, according to the investigation.

Flagged by Gulfport Police Chief Robert Vincent, who told Szeliga's supervisor that his deputy was "wasted," Szeliga was ordered back to room without receiving his award .... http://www.sfgate.com

South Park episode shows Donald Trump being raped and murdered

Caitlyn Jenner on South Park

Russian five-year-olds dig their way out of nursery to buy sports car

Two five-year-old Russian boys used spades to dig their way out of their kindergarten and set off on a mission to buy a Jaguar sports car, the Komsomolskaya Pravda daily has reported.

The two boys disappeared as their group took part in a supervised walk in the grounds of the kindergarten in the city of Magnitogorsk in the Urals region, the tabloid said.

Chelyabinsk regional interior ministry confirmed the boys’ escape from the kindergarten. “We don’t have any details yet, we can only confirm the fact itself,” a spokesman said, adding that the incident took place several days ago .... http://www.theguardian.com

Has Louis CK finally gone too far? Outrage as controversial comedian spends five minutes rationalizing CHILD MOLESTATION in bizarre joke on ‘Saturday Night Live’

Controversial comedian Louis CK left Saturday Night Live viewers confused and uncomfortable after a lengthy joke about child molestation.

Opening the last episode of the 40th season, he mused that the life of a child sex offender is so horrific that abusing young boys ‘must be really good’.

He compared the ‘addiction’ to his love of Mounds bars, saying he would reluctantly give them up if he knew they could land him in jail for life – ‘but they obviously don’t taste as good as little boys’ .... http://www.dailymail.co.uk

Darin Morgan - Mankind (Video)

From the Millennium Episode "Somehow, Satan Got Behind Me" (S02E21)

Synopsis: "Four vile demons, servants of evil who pose as elderly men, gather for their nightly meeting in a downtown donut shop and discuss over coffee and crullers their own personal methods of leading humanity down the path to hell." .... https://www.youtube.com

Wall Street Journal thinks $400,000 a year is just barely getting by

A Wall Street Journal video pities the poor family only making a $400,000 yearly income.

George Carlin - We Like War